I don't want to go!

It happened. My energetic, spirited 9 year old son who has loved and acknowledged God for more than half of his life said it: "I don't want to go to church." He followed that up with "why do we have to go?" And then the kicker: "Daddy doesn't go."

This isn't the first time I've heard this; my daughter expressed these same thoughts a couple of years ago (thankfully, we got past that!).  But this was different. And the reason this was different was because my son has always had an appreciation for God. He's the one who reminds me that we need to pray at night when he goes to bed ("don't forget we need to pray, mommy!"), he's the one who has always said, "I love you, mom, but not as much as I love God." And he's the one who has said, "nobody is stronger than Daddy, except God."  So, hearing his little voice say, "I don't want to go to church," hurt my heart in many ways. 

So what do I do? Do I get mad at him for telling me what he's thinking? Do I angrily force him to get ready for church? Do I verbally blame his father for the way my son is thinking? Nope. None of the above...despite the fact that I kinda want to do all those things because I'm hurt.

Several years ago, my cousin and I shared a conversation and I can only recall part of that talk. Yes, only part of it. And, seeing as it was so long ago, I feel lucky that I remember even that much. It was around the time my daughter was 5 or 6 years old and she made the same comment to me: "I don't want to go to church." The truth is, all kids will voice this at one point in time.  If we're being honest, there are days when I feel the same exact sentiment. There are plenty of Sunday mornings or Tuesday evenings when my exact thought is: "I don't want to go to church."  But that's when I remember what my cousin said to me; it was something that her mother used to say to her when she didn't want to go to church as a child. 

"That's fine, you don't have to go. But let's pray, and if you can tell God that you're too busy for Him and that you have better things to do than to go to church and worship Him, then you can stay home."

Whoa. Who wants to say that to God? Certainly not me. 

So when my son came crawling out from under his bed (he had been hoping I wouldn't notice he was missing and would leave for church without him), he stood in the center of his room and with a whiny voice equivalent to the sound of nails on a chalkboard, he said, "I don't want to go to church! Why do we even have to go? Daddy doesn't go..."

So I stood in the doorway to his room, and recited:

"That's fine, you don't have to go. But let's pray, and if you can tell God that you're too busy for Him and that you have better things to do than to go to church and worship Him, then you can stay home."

And then I walked away. I went to my room, partially to calm my thoughts and tame my naturally wicked tongue, and partially to allow him to weigh his options.  I waited just a moment or two and the headed back to his room, where I found him getting dressed.  I asked him if he was ready to pray together. He looked at me and said, "we can pray, but I'm going to church."

On the way home from church, from the back seat of my car I heard his voice, which was no longer whiny, say to me, "mama, I'm sorry I didn't obey you this morning." I didn't make a big deal about it, I simply said, "I forgive you." And I let it go.  He didn't need my repetitive words or reasons why we need to be in church. He already knew. Because you know what happens on those days when we don't want to go to church?  When we push through those temporary feelings and make our way to church, we leave there realizing that church was exactly what we needed for our attitudes. 

Granted, he's only 9 years old. He was probably so happy to see his friends and his Sunday school teachers and that wiped away his bad attitude. This was a battle that I won with my son this morning, but I know there is war ahead. This train of thought may not work when he's 13, 17 or 21 years old. But it did let me know that he stopped to think about having to admit such thoughts to God...and he didn't have it in his heart to do so.

But there is something to be said to all of us in the interaction that morning with my son.

We all have those days. 

"I don't want to go to church,"

We look at the lives of those who don't go to church.

"They don't go to church and look at how well they're doing."

So why do I have to go to church?

Because I could never tell my Creator that I'm too busy for Him. I could never tell my God that I don't have time to worship Him.  There is no way I could ever approach His throne and tell Him that I have better plans.  Not my God. Not my Savior. Not the one who sacrificed all for me and He asks so little in return. 

Look at David and his yearning to praise and worship God:

"You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. ...Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you." Psalm 63:1-5

There are definitely days when I feel like David, when my heart is bursting with excitement, joy and gratitude. Thankfully, those days are more often than not.  But on those "other" days, it can be hard to gather excitement around the thought of worship.

So on those days when you just don't want to do it, do what I do.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself:

"That's fine, you don't have to go. But let's pray, and if you can tell God that you're too busy for Him and that you have better things to do than to go to church and worship Him, then you can stay home."

You'll be surprised to find that the words never come. 

Xoxo