I am one of those
moms. The moms who side with the teacher.
My daughter made it
all the way through elementary school without any problems. She is an excellent student and she loves
school. Kindergarten through 5th
grade was a breeze; I became friends with every one of her teachers. We’re
sushi buddies, Facebook friends and concert goers. And then we entered 6th
grade. Right away my daughter began
enjoying her new teacher, and I wasn’t surprised because
she’s liked every teacher she’s
ever had. If she was happy, I was happy.
Then one day she
came home, looking somewhat confused.
“Mama, my teacher
said that the story of Jonah and the whale is impossible.”
I was thankful that
she waited until after I swallowed my iced tea because it would’ve
come shooting out of my mouth. I asked
how the topic came up in the classroom, and she told me, “we’re
learning about mythology.”
“What else did your
teacher say about it?”
“Well, he also said
that we weren’t created by some God, but that we
were made from one molecule and we evolved. He said that God is a part of
mythology.”
Whoa whoa whoa….someone get the principal on the
phone. I was so angry at the teacher for
saying something like this to his entire classroom of 11 year old kids.
I had two options:
1) Get angry and let my daughter know I'm
angry.
2) See this an opportunity to discover
her own convictions.
Although the first
option was the natural and most appealing at the time, I knew it wasn't the
right choice. By getting angry I would only be teaching my daughter that we
should get angry with anyone who doesn't agree with our beliefs. Talk about
setting her up for severe disappointment because the truth is that she will
encounter people like her teacher throughout her lifetime.
So I began our
conversation with this: "what do you think to be true?" She bravely
gave me an honest answer, "well, some of the stuff in the bible does seem
to be, uh, a little farfetched." ("Farfetched," huh? That was
definitely a new word from my 11 year old's mouth...wonder where it came from?)
I felt myself
beginning to pray before I even realized what I was doing. I needed wisdom and
I needed God to use His words because I was pretty sure I would mess it up with
words of my own. My daughter and I spent the next hour dissecting God's word
and talking about her convictions, not mine.
Here's some
practicals for when this happens:
1) don't get angry. All throughout our lives our faith
will be challenged. I'm sure you can think of many instances in which you've
encountered a similar situation and there you are, left to come up with answers
and defend your beliefs. Anger never helps. It merely translates that if the
other person disagrees, we are prepared to enter battle. And that is not
something we want to teach our children.
2) Ask for an honest answer, and be
loving when you receive it.
My daughter was very honest with me as she shared with me some areas of the
bible that were difficult for her to grasp. If we're being honest, there's been
a time or two when I've read something and thought, "really?" We all
know whose whispers those are in our ears. Doubt = the enemy. He wants us to
doubt the validity of God's word. But the truth is that when we have questions,
it means that our hearts and our minds are trying to understand God's word and
that is never a bad thing! Questions create curiosity and curiosity creates
seeking answers, which leads us to deeper studies in God's word. So, amen!
Bring on the questions!
3) When have you seen God work? This was my favorite part of our
conversation. I asked my daughter about the times she knew that God was working
in her life. "How have you seen God?" Oh man, she came up with an
astounding list. Even down to the night her hamster escaped from its cage (sneaky
little thing); it had been missing all day long - nobody could find this
Houdini of rodents. When I tucked her in that night, we prayed that the hamster
would make its way home. Wouldn't you know it - not even 2 seconds after
praying, that hamster was just sitting out in the middle of the hallway! Just
sitting there like, "oh hey, I've been here the whole time." To my
daughter, that was proof of God listening to our prayers. When your child comes
to you with doubt, have him/her recall all the ways they have seen God work in
their lives or the lives of others.
4) Pray. God's wisdom is incredible. And He will gladly pour it
onto you. All we have to do is ask for it. Don't enter into a conversation like
this with your child (or any person seeking answers) without first going to God
in prayer.
By the end of our
conversation, my daughter realized that her convictions about God were hers.
Not mine, not our pastor's, not her friends. Hers. And now she is ready to
encounter more people like her teacher because she knows that all she needs to
do is go back to God.
I ended our conversation with this little bitty for
her to think about..."it takes more faith to believe in nothing than to
believe in something." She smiled and said, "he doesn't even realize
how faithful he really is."
xoxo
(This article was originally written by Jennifer Osler and featured on GirlfriendsPray.org)
