I remember the day of my baptism 14 years ago, how can anyone forget a day like that? I remember confessing for all to hear that Jesus is Lord. I said those words with a deep conviction that nothing would come before the Lord. I knew in my heart that I would never place a job, a person, a hobby or anything else above Jesus because he was the Lord of my life. And then life happened.
“Lord” is a word that we use so frequently that sometimes the power behind its meaning is lost. It’s so easy to talk about the Lord. But why do we call him “Lord?”
Lord: someone or something having power, authority or influence.
Well, I would definitely agree that our Lord is exactly that. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Creator, and the King. He is LORD. Everything we do should be centered around Him. That’s what it means to make Him the Lord of our lives. Our God should have the power, authority and influence on every aspect of our lives.
Is he the Lord of your life?
Or is something or someone else holding lordship?
What or who influences your decision making?
Ok, let me ask you this: do you think your husband is Lord?
I’m confident that you answered that question just like I did: no way.
And then I had to re-evaluate my answer. Without realizing it, I made my husband Lord of my life.
“That’s not a bad thing, girl!” Is that what you’re thinking? Because that’s what I would be thinking.
God is our Lord. We proclaimed that, we confessed that and we believe that.
Our husbands come next…after our Lord.
But here is what I noticed happening in my life: I started declining church events. I would save my time with God for later if my husband wanted me to make breakfast. My moods were based on my husband’s moods. My joy was dependent on my husband. My confidence was lacking because I needed validation from my husband. My quiet time with God was rushed because my husband wanted to go for a walk.
Notice a pattern?
My husband had power, authority and influence over my decision making. Maybe he realized it, maybe he didn’t. But one thing is for sure: he became the Lord of my life.
This is where it’s tough, especially for spiritually single women. Where is the boundary between honoring our husbands and making him Lord?
Every time I would allow my husband to influence my spiritual decision making, I justified it like this: “but I’m being a respectful wife, I am respecting my husband and his needs,” which was absolutely true and not necessarily bad. But at what cost?
Who is my Lord?
Jesus tells us: “…seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:33-34
Let me place emphasis on the first two words of that scripture: seek first. What are we supposed to seek first? His kingdom and his righteousness. And God will take care of the rest. But we have to seek Him first and wholeheartedly.
Know what held me back from seeking first God’s kingdom and his righteousness? Fear. I was afraid to tell my husband that I was going to a bible study. I was afraid to tell my husband that the first Saturday of every month is our women’s bible talk. I was afraid to tell my husband that I would love to make breakfast for him after my time with God. I was afraid to tell my husband that I’d rather go to church on a Tuesday night than out to dinner with him. Fear is what made my husband Lord of my life.
The refreshing thing about this is God’s promise immediately after asking us to seek Him first: “do not worry.” God blesses our lives when our decisions are based on Him. I remember when I made the decision to tell my husband that I was going to our women’s bible talk, regardless of the fact that he had been working the last 4 days away from home and he would be coming home that morning. I was so scared, I knew an argument was coming, but I trusted that God would bless my decision to seek his kingdom first. And wouldn’t you know it, not only was my husband okay with me going, but now he knows that women’s bible talk is just something that I do each month. It’s no longer something I need to fear. God delivered me because I kept Him as the Lord of my life when I made that decision.
There is a fine boundary between respecting the needs of our husbands and making them the Lord of our lives. But by seeking first God’s kingdom and his righteousness, we are ultimately meeting the needs of our husbands because our husbands need God. Going after God first and allowing his presence and authority to influence our decisions make us better wives...and what man doesn’t want that?
Go after God first. Seek him fiercely, seek him earnestly and seek him wholeheartedly.
Don’t give in to fear. You are a daughter before you are a wife. And your Father wants to give you the desires of your heart. Trust Him and allow Him to be the only Lord of your life.
(This article was originally written by Jennifer Osler and featured on GirlfriendsPray.org)